A lot of folks told me that after child number three, I would hardly notice the transition to another child. After all, routines were established and the house was filled with kids and their stuff anyway.
That may be true for many moms out there. But for me, adjusting to four children has been the hardest transition since the rough adjustment I had to motherhood in general.
An infant is hard.
They don’t follow everyone else’s schedule because they come with their own.
They like to be held and often need to be rocked to sleep.
They have fussy times that aren’t always convenient or predictable.
Sometimes they stay up a lot later than their parents would like to stay up.
Everyday with an infant is different and unpredictable. At least with my infants.
A two year old is hard.
My particular one is well into tantrum season. He has a hard time stopping anything that he is doing.
He doesn’t transition well.
He doesn’t like the word, “No” and he is hard to talk into anything.
He wants to do what he wants and when he wants to do it.
Like I said, he is two.
(Some of you with an infant and 2 year old right now in your house know what I mean. Whether they are your only 2 kids or you have eight, it’s tough!)
My decision to homeschool my older two has definitely made things more difficult. They would both be at school all day this year, but I have chosen to keep them home with our family. I am happy with that choice and feel completely confident in the decision, but it does make this transition even more overwhelming.
And I notice that I have become a different person. I don’t want to go anywhere. Which is NOT like me at all. But it doesn’t seem worth all of the hassle involved.
And if you know me, then you know that I don’t like being at home all day. I am a “get out of the house” kind of person. I tend to be adventurous and take my kids out daily. After all, the best learning happens out in the world!
But this transition to four kids has made me quite content to be at home.
But I do things that are so out of character. So disorganized. Lazy feeling. Just recently one of my kids missed a friend’s birthday party because I just didn’t want to do it.
In order for her to attend, I would have to load up all 4 kids and take them to a local moon bounce warehouse. After dragging all four into such a fun place, only one would get to stay. I knew D (age 2) would freak out and I’d have to drag him back to the car while carrying the infant car seat and convince the 6 year old that we would come back another day. Once we got settled at home, we’d have to do it all again 1.5 hours later to pick her up from the party.
No thank you.
And I am an emotional mess. Tears regularly form in my eyes when someone truly wants to know how things are going. In fact, just last night I was in tears and had to stop talking to a group of women that barely know me because I admitted I was totally overwhelmed.
Tears and tiredness seem to be normal when there is an infant in the house. At least in this one.
But that doesn’t mean that homelife is bad. Because it is not.
I love each of these kiddos more than words can say. Watching another child find his place in the mix is delightful.
And most days we do just fine.
And many moments, we do more than fine!
But for the first time in a long time, I can’t handle it all.
I cut back on activities. I remembered my limits again. And I am working on accepting that this isn’t the season to do some of the things I so desperately want to do. There will be time for things like coffee dates, blog reading, scrapbooking, field trips to DC, and book reading in another season.
For now I just focus on the tasks in front of me.
One task at a time.
Attempting to parent with confidence, knowing that God promises that I can do all things through Him.(Phil 4:13) Every task He has called me to, He will be faithful to see fulfilled.
And that is the promise that I cling to right now.